When someone you love passes away, the world doesn't stop, but it feels like it should. In those first hours, you may feel numb, overwhelmed, or unsure of what needs to happen next. That's completely normal.
This isn't a list of things you must do right away. Some can wait. But knowing what's ahead can help you feel a little less lost.
If the Death Happens at Home
If your loved one was under hospice care, call the hospice agency first. They'll send a nurse to pronounce the death and help with next steps. You don't need to call 911 in most cases when hospice is involved.
If the death was unexpected, call 911. Paramedics will come and, if the person has clearly passed, will contact the coroner or medical examiner. In most states, a medical professional must officially pronounce the death before the body can be moved.
There's no rush to have the body removed. You can take time to sit with your loved one, say goodbye, or wait for other family members to arrive. This is your time.
If the Death Happens at a Hospital or Facility
The staff will handle the immediate medical and legal steps. They'll ask you to choose a funeral home to transport the body. If you don't have one in mind, it's okay to ask for some time before deciding. The hospital can keep the body in their morgue temporarily.
Notify Close Family and Friends
You don't have to tell everyone right away. Start with the people who need to know first. Ask someone you trust to help make calls if you're not up to it. A simple message is enough: "I'm sorry to let you know that [name] passed away [today/this morning]. I'll share more details when I can."
Choosing a Funeral Home
If your loved one didn't pre-arrange services with a specific funeral home, you'll need to choose one. This is one of the most important financial decisions you'll make in this process.
- You are not required to use the nearest funeral home, or the one the hospital suggests
- Call at least two or three funeral homes and ask for their General Price List
- Under the FTC Funeral Rule, they must provide pricing information over the phone
- Don't feel pressured to make immediate decisions about services or products
A good funeral director will be patient and understanding. If someone is rushing you or making you feel pressured, that's a sign to look elsewhere.
Gather Important Documents
In the days ahead, you'll need several documents. Don't worry about finding everything immediately, but start thinking about where these might be:
- The deceased person's identification (driver's license, passport, or Social Security card)
- Insurance policies (life insurance, burial insurance, veterans' benefits)
- Any pre-arranged funeral plans or wishes they may have written down
- Marriage certificate (if applicable, for Social Security survivor benefits)
- Military discharge papers (DD-214) if the person was a veteran
What Can Wait
Not everything needs to happen in the first 24 hours. These things can wait a day or two, or even longer:
- Writing an obituary
- Planning the service details
- Notifying banks, insurance companies, and other institutions
- Sorting through personal belongings
- Making decisions about the estate
Give yourself permission to grieve. The administrative tasks will still be there tomorrow. Right now, the most important thing is taking care of yourself and the people around you.
Taking Care of Yourself
Grief affects everyone differently. You might feel sad, angry, relieved, guilty, or nothing at all. All of these responses are normal. Try to eat something, drink water, and rest if you can. Accept help when it's offered.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by the practical decisions ahead, consider asking a trusted friend or family member to help coordinate. You don't have to do this alone.