What to Do When Someone Dies: A Step-by-Step Guide

When someone you love dies, it is natural to feel overwhelmed, numb, or unsure of what to do. The most important thing to know is this: you do not need to do everything right now. In most situations, there is more time than it feels like. Take a breath. Allow yourself a moment before moving into practical tasks.

That said, there are a few things that do need attention in the first hours:

If the death occurs at home:

• If the person was under hospice care, call the hospice nurse first. They will come to the home, confirm the death, and guide you through the next steps. Hospice staff are experienced at this and will handle many of the logistical details for you.
• If the person was not under hospice care, call 911. Paramedics will be dispatched and, after confirming the death, they may contact the coroner or medical examiner depending on the circumstances. A police officer may also respond — this is standard procedure for unattended deaths and does not imply anything suspicious.
• If the death was expected and the person had a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order, have that document available to show the paramedics.

If the death occurs in a hospital or care facility:

• The facility staff will handle the legal pronouncement of death and initial paperwork.
• They will ask whether you have a funeral home in mind. You do not need to answer immediately — the facility will hold the body while you make arrangements.
• Ask the staff about collecting personal belongings and any prescriptions or medical equipment that may need to be returned.

If the death occurs away from home (accident, while traveling, etc.):

• Local authorities (police, hospital, or the coroner's office) will manage the immediate situation.
• Once you are notified, you will need to arrange for a funeral home to transport the body. If the death occurred out of state or out of country, the funeral home can coordinate transportation.

Notifying loved ones is one of the most emotionally difficult tasks. Here is how to approach it:

• Start with immediate family: Spouse, children, parents, siblings. These calls should come from you or another close family member if possible.
• Delegate extended notifications: Ask a trusted family member or friend to call extended family, coworkers, neighbors, and the deceased's social circle. This is one of the most helpful things someone can do for you right now — accept the help.
• Be straightforward and gentle: There is no perfect way to deliver this news. A simple, honest statement is best: "I am calling to let you know that [name] passed away [this morning/last night/today]. We are still making arrangements and will share more details soon."
• Keep a list: Write down who has been notified and who still needs to be contacted. In the fog of grief, it is easy to lose track.
• Consider social media carefully: If you plan to share the news on social media, make sure all close family members have been notified personally first. There are few things more painful than learning about a loved one's death through a Facebook post.

Choosing a funeral home is one of the first major decisions you will face. If the deceased pre-planned their funeral and chose a specific funeral home, that simplifies this step. If not, here is how to approach it:

• Do not feel pressured to choose immediately. If the death occurred at a hospital or care facility, they will hold the body while you make arrangements. You have time to compare options.
• Request General Price Lists (GPLs). Under the FTC Funeral Rule, every funeral home must provide a written price list upon request — including over the phone. Call at least two or three funeral homes and ask for their GPLs before making a decision. Prices for comparable services can vary by 200-300% within the same city.
• Ask for recommendations. Clergy, hospital social workers, hospice staff, and friends who have recently dealt with a death can often recommend funeral homes known for compassionate service and fair pricing.
• Consider your needs. Do you want a full-service funeral home or are you planning something simpler? If you are choosing direct cremation, a cremation-focused provider may offer better pricing than a full-service funeral home.

In the days following the death, several legal and administrative tasks need attention. You do not need to handle all of these yourself — an executor, attorney, or trusted family member can help with many of them.

Death certificates:

• The funeral home typically handles filing the death certificate with the state vital records office.
• Order 10-15 certified copies. You will need them for life insurance claims, bank accounts, real estate, vehicle transfers, Social Security, VA benefits, and other legal matters.
• Certified copies usually cost $10-$25 each, depending on the state.

Social Security:

• Report the death to the Social Security Administration at 1-800-772-1213.
• A surviving spouse or dependent child may be eligible for a one-time death payment of $255 and ongoing survivor benefits.
• Any Social Security payments received after the date of death must be returned.

Life insurance:

• Contact each insurance company to file a claim. You will need a certified death certificate for each claim.
• Check for policies through the deceased's employer, mortgage lender, credit card companies, and any professional organizations.
• Most claims are processed within 30-60 days.

Banks and financial accounts:

• Notify each bank and financial institution of the death.
• Joint accounts typically remain accessible to the surviving joint owner.
• Individual accounts may be frozen pending probate or transfer to the estate.

Employer notification:

• If the deceased was employed, notify their employer to stop direct deposits and inquire about any death benefits, life insurance, retirement accounts, or unused paid time off.

Amid the emotional weight of loss, there are practical tasks that need attention — especially if the deceased lived alone or was the primary manager of the household:

• Secure the home. If the deceased lived alone, make sure the home is locked and secure. Collect mail, adjust the thermostat, and check for perishable food.
• Care for pets. Arrange for temporary or permanent care for any pets.
• Cancel or redirect mail. Set up mail forwarding with the post office if needed.
• Manage utilities and subscriptions. Contact utility companies, phone and internet providers, and subscription services to cancel or transfer accounts. Keep essential utilities running if the home will need to be maintained or sold.
• Manage digital accounts. Email, social media, online banking, streaming services, cloud storage — make a list and address each one. Some platforms (like Facebook and Google) have specific procedures for memorializing or closing accounts of deceased users.
• Forward important correspondence. Watch for tax documents, insurance notices, legal communications, and other important mail that may arrive in the weeks and months ahead.

In the rush to handle logistics, it is easy to neglect your own wellbeing. Please remember:

• Grief is not linear. You may feel fine one moment and devastated the next. There is no "right" way to grieve and no timeline for when you "should" feel better. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.
• Accept help. When people offer to bring food, run errands, watch children, or make phone calls — say yes. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness; it is a practical response to an overwhelming situation.
• Eat, sleep, and hydrate. Basic self-care often falls by the wayside during acute grief. Try to eat regular meals, get rest even if sleep is difficult, and drink water.
• Limit major decisions. Grief impairs judgment. If possible, avoid making major life decisions (selling a home, changing jobs, moving) for at least several months after a loss.
• Seek support. Grief support groups, individual counseling, clergy, and trusted friends can all provide valuable support. Organizations like GriefShare (griefshare.org) offer programs nationwide.
• Be patient with yourself. The early days and weeks are the hardest. It does get easier, though it may not feel that way right now.